Spi-Droid

Your Sinclair

Life Expectancy 64%

Graphics 70%

Addictiveness 14%

Instant Appeal 78%

Overall 75%

Rich Pelley 75%

Oh no! That really rather crap feature about really rather crap things (written by a really rather crap person) is back!! (Aaaaaargh!!!) RICH PELLEY proudly present the latest scintillating episode of... CRAP GAME CORNER - THE NEXT GENERATION A big "Hello and welcome!" to Crap Game Corner Numero Trois. And, boy, are the games in this issue crap or what? just in case you forgot, this is the bit where you write a game, send it in, and we slag it off because it's pathetically useless (ie crap, hence the Crap Game bit). Simple, eh? For further explanation, here's a poem I prepared earlier... They re not all nice and lovely like a big ice-cream, Or pretty like coloured birdies, Or fun like going for a picnic with your chums, Or snogging lots of girlies. Nope. Instead they're one of the bad things in life, Which aren't much use to any woman or, erm, chap. Because (believe me) the games you people have sent in* Are absolutely CRAP. *Well, most of them (Cough.) Sussed now? (Cough.) Sussed now? SPI DROID Available for £2.99 from Vinsoft (Neil Pointon and Vincent - oh no - Vity), [redacted]. Hmm. Bit like Marble Madness this one. It's all about manoevring this ball around a spooky track, desperately trying not to fall off the side (which tends to be the case most of the time). You can start/stop your ball at win so it's basically a case of split-second Fire-pushing to get it to come to a halt at vital points and corners (without plummeting off the edge), and then re-starting in the appropriate direction again. As in Marble, there are things to avoid (bigger balls and a strange spaceship which drops bullets on you) and the proceedings get even more confusing when bits of the track and stuff start disappearing and reappearing out of nowhere (among other things). And it's all quite original actually - very original in fact. Things are a bit jerky but that's my only niggle. The screens are varied, and the difficulty level is pitched spot-on to give it that 'just one more go' feel. And it's even got a nice loading screen. Well, crapsters, look like it's time to say "Toodle pip!" (although I'm not entirely sure why). Tune in next ish for more of the same (only, of course, a bit different really). And in the meantime, if you'd like to make an appearance in Crap Game Corner then here's what to do... - Write a Crap Game. (Or perhaps not - we're going to be concentrating more on the 'proper' games from now on. Doesn't mean we don't welcome pitifully bad entries, or even write about them, just that we'll be giving the good ones the attention they deserve.) - Send it to me, Rich Pelley, at Crap Game Corner, Your Sinclair, [redacted] (underwear optional). Bit of a doddle really. See you next issue. Bye!

What can I say about this one? It's quite original, quite fun, in fact it even approaches being 'good'. (Gasp!)

BUT WHAT ABOUT ANOTHER RATING SYSTEM, JOHN? The usual one's not rubbish enough, so we've had to come up with something different. And here it is... Technical Ingenuity How impressive is the 'ensemble'? Is it written in machine code with lots of clever routines and a pretty loading screen? Congratulations and have a high mark. Or knocked off in BASIC in a couple of minutes? Have an extremely low mark (and consider yourself lucky). Achievement Did you achieve whatever you set out to do in the first place? Or is it a case of c've d.b. (could've done better)? Crap Factor Ranging from 'completely', through 'quote' to (in extreme cases) 'only just a bit'. Fun Or to put it another way, how fun is it? (No, didn't think so.) Overall If we were to take your game and release it 'properly' how well would it do? The people who've written the good games get the high marks, those of you foolish enough to have written a deliberately diabolical one are down there with the sewage.

OOOPS! Seems like I forgot to mention where to get hold of some of the better games in the last CGC. So (ahem) here they are... If you want to find out about the well-worth-having GODS then write to Mr and Mrs Barnsley, [redacted]. Then there's FILECARD - a mere £2.99 cass/£7.99 disk from Jeremy Jenkins, [redacted]. And you can get the brilliant Destrux for £4.95 from D Alderson, [redacted].