ZX Log Chopper

Break Space

Andy

Mpk

ZX LOG CHOPPER Derek Fountain Free Andy's Review Chopping Logs: on telly it looks the epitome of manliness, and quite mindful I reckon. And I think I'd be pretty good at - lumberjack shirt, axe across my shoulder, living off the land, fighting off grizzlies with my bare hands and chopping logs for my stove in cabin, all whilst whistling beautifully. I can picture it now. Derek Fountain has managed to take this most serene and wholesome of activities, and made it horribly frenzied and stressful. And he's done it all using one key on the Speccy. Appropriate for something set in the great-outdoors, 'Space' is the key in question. You can probably guess what you do from the screen shot – press space when the rapidly moving line (presumably the axe) aligns with the arrows. Fail to make your cuts close enough to the designated points and you're sacked. There's no formal disciplinary or warnings in lumberjackery, it's one ruined log and back to the job queue. Continue as the number of required cuts increases, the pace of the line movement increases, the size of the log changes. Well, continue until you fail; or cut all 50 logs. Get a high score, take a screenshot, boast about it on social media (I assume). Written as an exercise in using the Z88DK 'classic' library, ZX Log Chopper – as slight as it is – is reasonably slick insofar as it uses the nice little font, and there are sound effects (thought they are all a bit laser-y, again taking away from the serenity of the job you're tasked with, and suggesting a dystopian future rather than rural idyll). Actually trying to beat a previous score is quite compelling, and given the simplicity, it's very easy to have just-have-one-more go. There is no real front end to speak of; no loading screen, no backstory, no unnecessary fluff, just a one button game to test your reflexes. If you're playing on a ZX Spectrum in 2025 the chances are your reflexes are not what they once were, and this'll remind you of that. Maybe it's time to take a walk outside in the woods.

"The epitome of masculinity"

Not since Gillian Mckeith have logs been so carefully rated