Crazy Burger

Break SpaceBreak Space Ace

Dave

Jamie

Mpk

CRAZY BURGER Menyiques, Jariaxe, Koc PWYW / $2 Jamie's Review This week, fading pop star Katy Perry told the world she was putting the 'ass' into astronaut when she joined an all-women 'crew' of millionaires on an 11-minute joyride to space. The news reached me as I stood in my kitchen, sorting my rubbish into neat piles of recyclables and wondering how far the nearest Tetra Pak drop-off point was. (Apparently, crumpets come in a special type of plastic that my local council can't process.) Upon hearing about Katy's successful mission, my heart sank. I used to dream of being an astronaut. Spaceflight was supposed to be for all of mankind-not just a privileged few. Now, space is just for the rich. I must set my sights on humbler aspirations. Which brings me neatly to my next review: Crazy Burger-a game for those who know their place in the oligarchy and have accepted it. Forget dreams of spaceflight; grab a spatula and start flipping burgers. It's time to cater to an endless procession of thankless customers, whose long lists of demands contrast sharply with the shortness of their patience. Crazy Burger is no joke-it has all the anxiety-inducing stress of a real second job. It's a thankless world. At the end of my second day, I was fired. No explanation. I thought I'd done pretty well-I'd served two customers and finally got the hang of the gameplay. But no. Fired. The worst part? The owner made me work late serving the last customer... and then fired me! Crazy Burger is excellently executed, with so many nice touches: a winking chef on the menu page, smooth full-screen transitions between scenes, charming and well-animated sprites, and no flicker. The game was made with Boriel's ZX Basic, a compiled BASIC that's easy to get started with, and this game proves Boriel can produce slick, novel, and highly enjoyable games. Another nice touch is the manual, which explains how to play. I needed it. Even though the game is fairly simple (cook burgers, serve customers, use QAOP + SPACE to flip), my first few attempts left me clueless. After reading the manual, the penny dropped: You have to speak to the customer to get their order-of course! Final thoughts: While Crazy Burger won't launch you into orbit like Katy Perry's vanity space trip, it does something far more grounded-and honest. Instead of selling dreams of the stars to the highest bidder, it hands you a spatula and says, "This is your reality now." And honestly? Flipping pixelated burgers in a thankless grind feels more authentic than watching millionaires play astronaut. Crazy Burger may not reach the cosmos, but it's a stellar showcase of what Boriel's engine can do-proving that real brilliance doesn't need a rocket.

Burger and Coke, Ma'am? Easy.

No need to look so bloody pleased about it

Triple beef and bacon? 3 different drinks? Might as well just quit now.