H.R.H.

The Games Machine

Overall 23%

Rob Steel 23%

Spectrum Cassette: £2.99 Perhaps the less said about these two the better. In HRH the player has mistakenly been sent the Queen's giro cheque but luckily he's a bit of a patriot and decides to deliver it to Her Majesty in person. The player comes across Prince William, Lady Diana, Prince Charles and most other members of the Royal Family; each one is placed in a ridiculous situation or at least made to look stupid, and this cheap Spitting Image-type humour grates painfully. There's no sense of adventure in HRH and turning the computer off was a great delight - or rather it would have been if I hadn't had to load Cuddles from the other side of the cassette and play it. Cuddles puts the player in the booties of an obnoxious baby whose sole aim in life is to find a new arm for his teddy bear (clearly he believes in the right to bear arms). This game is decidedly not funny and is full of mistakes - it confuses 'brooch and 'broach', for example. And even when the baby has thrown his nanny's brooch on the floor he can be scratched on the face by it. Cuddles has no realism - the baby cannot scream, cry, eat food or do any of those annoying little things babies do. And there's no challenge, the player needs to 'guess the word' to get out of certain locations and is given no scope to experiment with people or objects he comes across. Yet another utility-written adventure goes to potty...

Your Computer

Graphics 2/5

Atmosphere 3/5

Playability 3/5

Value For Money 3/5

Originality 4/5

Overall 3/5

Roger Garrett 3/5

Spectrum 48K 8th Day Software Graphic Adventure £6.95 Those who have played 8th Day adventures will know that the writer and owner, Mike White, has always tried to write adventures with a difference. Earlier works, which include gems like Quann Tulla, Cuddles and Faerie brought a certain degree of freshness to adventure games. The latest release, H.R.H., is, to say the least, somewhat different but whether it will have the same reception as those earlier ones is difficult to say. The plot of the new game centres on a Giro cheque. What has happened is that you have received the Queen's cheque instead of your own, so you can only surmise that yours has been sent to the Queen. Being an upstanding citizen, you must return the Giro to its rightful owner. What is not clear is the way in which you must do so. Your quest will take you out and about in London. There are certain problems to solve which will then lead to other parts of the game but that is where the difficulty arises. If you do not know various things about the Royals - for instance, if you try to give Princess Margaret a cigarette she refuses, mainly because she is trying in real life to stop smoking, so its only by continually trying that she eventually takes it. I found this problem a little obscure but it is essential, or she will not give you what you need - in this case a spanner. The adventure tends to be a little complicated and there were many times when I was completely baffled about what was happening or even what I was supposed to be doing. White has tried to make the game as funny as possible but I must admit some of the humour failed to make any impression on me. Overall the game is high on original content. Text descriptions are up to the usual 8th Day standard, setting the scene well as you wander round the many varied locations. Also included are graphics - not the best in the world I hasten to add, but adequate. I feel certain that the game will cause a certain amount of controversy because of the nature of its content but 8th Day must be congratulated. In one sense, at least, it is trying to do something different and not just staying with tried and tested formulae like some other companies.

Your Sinclair

Graphics 4/10

Text 8/10

Value For Money 8/10

Personal Rating 8/10

Overall 7/10

Mike Gerrard 7/10

FAX BOX Title: H.R.H. Publisher: 8th Day, [redacted] Price: £6.95 Reviewer: Mike Gerrard One thing's for sure, 8th Day won't be getting its MBE this year! But it won't be worrying too much as I'm sure it'll be getting lots of orders for this regal romp to compensate. I found it a hoot, from start to... well, as far as I got. Another Wednesday morning dawns, and you rip open your giro cheque as per usual. What's not as per usual is the name and amount on the cheque. A quarter of a million... payable to Queen Elizabeth? is this the local pub? No, it's a DHSS cock-up and a half... or should that be a cock-and-a-half up? No matter. Down you go to the Post Office and you notice Princess Di queueing behind you to claim the Family Allowance. Prince William zooms about wearing a pair of falsies... false ears, that is. I bet he's been watching Spitting Image again. Well he must be getting bad habits from somewhere, as he kicks you in the leg and half-inches the giro. Can you recover it and get it back to the Palace before the Queen has to pawn the corgis? This is the adventurer's task. In a call-box nearby you hear a scandalous message concerning Prince Andrew and a certain Cynthia (which I advise you to remember and pass on), while at the Dancing Kebab Greek restaurant Prince Philip is reminding Edward that you only smash the plates after you've eaten the food. Can you have the necessary chats with Charles, can you catch Di in the bath and flog the photos to Fleet Street, and where does the moussaka fit in? Presumably not in the naughty knickers. There are some intriguing problems early on, and full use has been made of The Quill and The Patch, though not so The Illustrator as graphics are few and far between, and pretty poor when you find them. I like the regular London bus service, like the tube trains in Sherlock, and the number of seemingly independent characters that appear to have been crammed in is impressive. Someone at 8th Day certainly knows their way round The Quill, and whether they soon also know their way round the dungeons at the Tower of London remains to be seen. H.R.H. might not get the royal seal of approval, but it gets mine.

Read it at Your Sinclair Rock'n'Roll Years

C&VG (Computer & Video Games)

Vocabulary 5/10

Atmosphere 7/10

Personal 6/10

Value 5/10

Matthew Woodley 6/10

SUPPLIER: 8th Day MACHINE: Spectrum 48K PRICE: £6.95 8th Day are all out for controversy with their latest game, HRH. The cover depicts the Queen on a stamp, making a rude sign, and that kind of Spitting Image humour continues throughout the game. You start off in the Post Office, queuing up for your dole money. Behind you, Princess Diana waits for her family allowance as Prince William runs about wearing a pair of large rubber ears! You take your cheque, but soon realise that it is made out to the Queen, and is worth for £250,000. In your mind's eye, you see yourself being knighted as you hand the Queen her dole money, but as you set off to return it to her, Prince William kicks you in the leg, and runs off with the cheque. Now you must recover it! The game is Quilled, with a little help from the Illustrator, and will only allow you to type in the exact answer to each puzzle if you type anything else, it tells you: "I nearly understand". The first problem involves you passing on telephone messages from Prince Andrew's girl-friends, saying that they are not pregnant. When you tell Andrew the good news, he gives you a drink and by the third call, you're feeling rather tipsy. The game uses a rather naughtier word, so beware, kiddies! When drunk, you can actually take a Pink Elephant, which you see floating above you, to give to William. He gives you a spider, which so frightens an old lady, she drops her bus pass, and so on. By the way, this little sequence runs up three points out of the total 250 required to complete the game. There are many ways for you to be stopped in your tracks during the adventure, so it is a good idea to take full advantage of the 'Memory Save' option, which involves no extra loading during a playing session. All in all, this is an average Quilled adventure, though more effort seems to have been put into a funny story, rather than trying to involve complicated levels of vocabulary. If you like Spitting Image humour, this could be right up your street!

ZX ComputingZX Computing Monster Hit

8th Day £8.95 Whilst I'm not a great advocate of censorship, some of this game is of dubious taste and parents may feel that their children need protecting from its "adult" humour. But providing you are not easily offended, I think you'll love this. HRH is the most biting computer satire since Denis Through The Drinking Glass; this time the subject matter is (mostly) our royal family, and the irreverence is limitless. You are horrified when your eagerly awaited DHSS envelope contains someone else's giro; then you notice the name and address: it belongs to Queen Elizabeth. And if you have hers you have hers - she must have yours! How will she afford the Queen Mother's meals on wheels on wheels on such a small sum? Will she have to sell the corgis to MacDonaldS? What about her Oxfam clothing bill...? There's nothing for it but to return her giro personally. You start in a post office, next to Princess Di wailing for her family allowance, and Prince William who is impersonating his father with a pair of huge rubber ears. Close by are further royals and before the end of the game you will have met the whole clan, on your travels around London. Their personalities will be familiar to all Spitting Image fans; drunken Margaret, Greek Phillip, stupid Edward, and randy Andy who provides many of those "adult" jokes I mentioned. The humour itself is also along Spitting Image lines; some crude, some more subtle. I won't spoil the fun by giving too much away, but I particularly liked Madame Tussauds, where pride of place in both the Chamber Of Horrors and the Gallery Of Famous Murderers is taken by Margaret Thatcher. Later you face the gruesome task of impersonating her; yet when doing so you won't be allowed into the palace! Description is lengthy, entertaining and well written, and characters wander round in convincingly independent fashion. There are a few, fairly average split screen graphics. An incredible amount has been packed into this Quilled game, not just text but many special messages and amazing complexity. While this is no fault, some of the commands - particularly EXAMINE - have had their responsiveness sacrificed in order to fit everything in. Despite this misgiving, HRH is technically very sound. Vocabulary is adequate, but at a few points too obscure. Coming from a small company, I was pleasantly surprised at the skillful presentation. The actual game has polished appearance, RAM SAVE/LOAD is included; and the packaging competes with many of the software big boys. My only major gripe is that this is a pound or two overpriced for a mail order product. The actual adventure isn'T quite up to Monster Hit standard. However, I had so much fun playing HRH, and its sheer originality and energy comes as such a welcome breath of fresh air in the face of countless middle earth games from Level 9 et al, that I've given one anyway. 8th Day are a company to watch. I sincerely hope they reach a distribution deal to get HRH into the shops, but in the meantime write to [redacted].

Crash

Atmosphere 86%

Vocabulary 80%

Logic 83%

Addictive Quality 86%

Overall 85%

Derek Brewster 85%

DEREK BREWSTER'S ADVENTURE TRAIL HOUSE HUNTING It is standard practice (now that the few professional software houses who used to pay royalties quickly have left the games side of the industry) for a programmer to be paid many months after a game has been submitted to a software house. This can prove annoying to a full-time programmer but is, admittedly, common pratice in parallel industries, for example, book publishing. A more recent turn of events, however, is rather worrying; some software concerns are commissioning several versions of a blockbuster and only paying the one, final, winner with no money going to the luckless programmers who produced the less favourable versions. Worse still are some houses who are so devious, or unprofessional, as to make an offer for a game under fierce competition only to reject it much later when the game has lost some of its topicality. Such foul play leads to suspicions of double dealing on the part of the software houses. Tactics such as delaying competitive releases, or even pinching program ideas, can't be ruled out. It would be a good thing for programmers to honestly exchange notes on which software houses are unreliable or unprofessional, as such information might help bring programming onto a more secure footing and help eliminate rumours which do no-one any good. Because of the uncertainties over payments for programmers they will be much more reluctant to spend large amounts of time on one mega-game and so chum out many smaller, less innovative, programs. Ironically, the churning out of conversions can be more lucrative than good innovative programming. Hence, it may well be that programmers will be less inclined to push the Spectrum to its limits, a thought which should sadden any Spectrum owner. HRH Producer: 8th Day Software Retail Price: £6.95 At last, 8TH DAY SOFTWARE have gone all hip-hop and commercial (like) with this offering which mercilessly lampoons the royal beings. As Britain has slid into a rather sorry state, the daily trashy papers have nothing more to concern themselves with than the boring everyday machinations of the royal beings. Some of the columns are a bit personal in the press, others affectionate, while others still make satirical mileage out of the royals' peculiarly detached aloofness, a family apart. This game is certainly of the latter category, so if you're the type who goes fishing when there's a Royal Wedding on the telly then HRH will be right up your street, even if it's just a row of crumbling terraces. The cover illustration is a one penny stamp depicting a po-faced monarch with her two index fingers pointed in a most unbecoming fashion. God Save Our Gracious Queen rings out on loading with a screen which is by appointment to her majesty's bodyguards. But this is only an introduction to the humour which begins with the storyline. It's Wednesday morning and, sitting hunched beneath the letter box waiting for your dole giro, you rummage through an ash tray for a last remaining dog end. After what seems like an eternity the letter arrives. Hallelujah! Eagerly ripping open the DHSS envelope you clutch the giro to your heaving chest, gibbering uncontrollably. Regaining your composure you notice with a gasp of honor that it isn't your name on the giro. Thunderstruck you rack your brain for a local pub called the Queen Elizabeth… until, that is, you notice the address. The giro slips to the floor, the long line of zeros on it staring accusingly up at you, like Princess Margaret after you've nicked her last bottle of brown ale. It looks as if you've got the Queen's giro, surely she must have yours? Will she have to resort to selling the corgis to MacDonalds to pay for a new chainsaw for Prince William's birthday present..? How is she going to have meals on wheels for the Queen Mother..? And how are you going to pull off handing over a giro with the Queen's insignia on it? Hoping to save the threatened dignity of our most gracious monarch, and perhaps making a bob or two selling your story to the press, you see yourself being knighted as you hand the Queen her dole money... This game is Quilled and Illustrated but makes up for its cloned look with a redesigned character set - light on a dark background so its easy to read. Of course the main interest to the game is the humour directed at the royal persons. I think this game's really got something here, as it is well-written and the jokes are well-executed. Quoting the first location may sometimes seem a little too easy but with this game it's well worth while as it is pivotal to the first part of the adventure. 'You are before a small post office counter in a long queue. Standing behind you is Princess Diana waiting for her family allowance. Through a door to the south heavy traffic can be heard moving along the high street. Prince William wears a set of enormous rubber ears upon his head. They sway wildly from side to side as he runs madly about impersonating an aeroplane'. From this first frame you will see that the royal persons mix quite freely with you in the streets of London, although you must negotiate your way into Buckingham Palace to meet the really aloof ones. Prince William, however, is too young to stand on ceremony, and he snatches the giro from your hand before you've had the time to cash it in. And so begins your task to wrest the giro from the little darling's hands in order to give the Queen her money, but the road to achieving this is amazingly convoluted............. and fun. There are not that many graphics in this adventure; I can only remember seeing one (the Telecon Box) in the first part of the gameand it would be more honest to consider it a text adventure. The Telecon Box is reached across a zebra crossing which is traversed only when the beeping stops thanks to the constraints of the program. Never mind, the program allows you across and you hear the telephone ringing. Answering it starts a recurring chain of events which have you telling Andrew in Rocksoffs nightclub about the various states of his girlfriends in regards to their being in the family way. I particularly liked this part for its inventiveness and humour qualities which run through the whole adventure. Just a little further on you negotiate the London buses. Very often a change from one route to another is required to get you on to your destination with the EXAMINE command telling you which bus number has pulled up at the bus stop. You will notice around the road area a lot of repetitive car honking which becomes a bit of a bore to read every time but it wouldn't be an adventure without some irritant. HRH is a really funny adventure. It is long (after quite some time I got the Rule Brittania ending tune and a miserly score of 5 out of a possible 250), well-written, and sufficiently devious to hold your attention for hours at a time. Available mail order from sirs DAY SOFTWARE, [redacted]. COMMENTS Difficulty: pretty tricky in places Graphics: very few Presentation: neat, if unimaginative Input facility: verb/noun Response: fast Quill response

Inside the telephone box - give Andy a bell down in the nightclub and pass on the news...

Sinclair User

Overall 2/5

Brenda Gore 2/5

Label: 8th Day Price: £6.95 Memory: 48K/128K Reviewer: Brenda Gore H.R.H. has been causing a big fuss in the papers - the Sun mainly. No dungeons and dragons, goblins and trolls to be found here. H.R.H. from 8th Day has touched a nerve in some less liberally minded folk, mixing as it does, the Royal Family and the dole queue in a classic bureaucratic foul up over DHSS benefits. Sitting in your London bedsit, you rip open your DHSS letter and discover a £250,000 Giro cheque intended for the Queen. This comes as something of a surprise. Presumably the Queen will be even more surprised, especially if she received your Giro in place of her own. You start the game standing in a Post Office queue, Princess Di standing behind you. Prince William, wearing an enormous pair of rubber ears, is also in the Post Office. A clerk stands behind the counter, though you have no way of knowing this from the description. Any attempt to give the Queen's Giro to the clerk, or to leave the Post Office with it still in your possession, will trigger Prince William into action. He'll grab the cheque and bite you in the leg. You begin to feel he doesn't like you. The rest of the game concerns your attempts to retrieve the missing Giro, cash it and give the money to the Queen. Which is easier said than done. You leave the Post Office, your leg presumably still throbbing, and are confronted by a busy main road. Fortunately, there is a pedestrian crossing. Failure to press the button could be fatal - London traffic doesn't like stopping at the best of times. On the other side of the pedestrian crossing there is a telephone box. Surprise, surprise... the telephone is ringing. Being naturally curious, you answer the telephone. An unidentified voice on the other end gives you an urgent message for Prince Andrew. The logic may seem a little strained here, but stranger things appear in The Sun. The Prince is to be found in a local nightspot, just past the Dancing Kebab. He appears slightly distraught, but is pleased to receive your message and offers you some champagne. And so it goes on. Other members of the royal family will be found dotted around the adventure. The Queen Mother and corgies, are at Clarence House. Prince Charles and the Queen are to be found in Buckingham Palace. Mrs Thatcher, Princess Margaret, Princess Michael, the Archbishop of Canterbury and assorted other characters also pop up in unexpected places. The corgies play a larger role in the game than you might first suspect. Carrying a Corgi at one point will provide a much-needed proof of identity. The adventure only accepts one line of text as an input though, so you may have to abbreviate some words in order to get your message across. Also, us Tell in place of Say or Speak. In its style and content H.R.H. owes much to the earlier Dennis Through the Drinking Glass or Melbourne House's effort, Hampstead. The trouble is it is neither as inventive as Denis. Nor is it as technically well executed as Hampstead. If the plot of H.R.H. sounds trite and a bit daft, don't worry - it is trite and a bit daft. The biggest problem is not the subject matter, nor questions of taste. It is a distinct lack of humour. Maybe it's me but H.R.H. just isn't funny. A satirical adventure of this sort relies heavily on the effectiveness of the internal jokes for its success. The Boggit is an example of a sustained and funny adventure which pokes fun at its august predecessor. TV series' like Spitting Image and Not The Nine O'Clock News have shown that you can be cruelly funny and get away with it, but the jokes have to be good enough. I admit to a droll smile when Prince William bit me on the leg, but it was a case of too little, too late. I simply lost any interest in what happened next. The puzzles in the game don't require any leaps of inspiration, just a plodding routine of 'try it and see'. Here was an opportunity for some biting satire on unemployment and the royal family. And it's an opportunity that's been largely missed.

Occasional graphics of some horrible sights.

The opening of the game. Getting the Giro back won't be easy. Go out to the high street.