Immortality Rules OK!

Crash

Presentation 70%

Atmosphere 53%

Playability 50%

Overall 52%

Phil King 52%

PHIL KING'S ADVENTURE TRAIL Wow! I bet you're really amazed - Adventure Trail has got a new, incredibly mathematical ratings system. And I've even persuaded Ed to give me a brand new font! So now the Trail's got a neat new look, where are the flippin' games to review?! All the major adventurer producers seem to have taken an early holiday. It's a good job those dedicated amateur writers are still turning out plenty of new adventures. The three games reviewed this month aren't the best I've ever seen, but they've kept me busy while my sheep have been making a nuisance of themselves at the local fair. They just love shooting people with airguns and going mad on the Dodgems - I must remember to never let them near my tractor. So until next munf (cor, my spelling's getting as bad as Nick's), I promise not to make any more silly jokes about sheep - they're in terribly baaad taste! IMMORTALITY RULES OK! Wildfire Publishing £3.99 cass Flicking through the Daily Crucible one morning, I learn all about 'Vicar's steamy nights of passion with Busty Betty, a crucifix and a sacrificial goat' (are you sure this is in the scenario? Ed). But my favourite section is the competition page - solve the clues to discover the secret location of the prize: a priceless amulet. This is hidden inside a bank vault in a mystery town. As I'm cleverer than your average Crucible reader (I've got an IQ of six!), I quickly realise that I must travel. to a checkpoint in the Yorkshire hamlet of Shoreham. Arriving here, I am greeted by a newspaper reporter - I can tell he's a journalist by his immense beer belly. He takes me across a fast flowing river and into town. According to him I must somehow discover the four digit code to open the Safe deposit box in which the amulet is hidden. Exploring the town, I discover locations ranging from a football ground to a building site where the 'workers'sit around, smoking all day. There's also a TV rental shop, containing a teletext TV which I can use to call up articles, puzzles and quizzes! Although the town isn't that large, finding the four digits represents a major challenge - the cryptic clues are very obscure. And even when the digits are found, the correct permutation must be discovered to get the amulet. Even then, a boat must be built to return to the checkpoint! WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER? I can't say I'm surprised to discover that Immortality Rules OK! is around three years old, having been recently 'unearthed' by the author. Despite a large vocabulary of over 500 words, the Quill parser limits input to mainly verb/noun and prevents any real character interaction. While the problems encountered can be solved in almost any order, the solutions are painfully obscure and hardly logical - it's just as well that the author runs a free Helpline service. On the good side, the numerous pictures are fine and the text often witty. A blank map is also included in the packaging, but with only 40 locations to explore, it is soon filled in. Immortality Rules OK! is available from Robert Burgess at [redacted].